Now is Good.

Just because life hands you lemons doesn't mean you have to suck.

Hiya. August 27, 2012

Filed under: 3 kids,Balance,Change,divorce,Realizations,Romance — nowisgoodblog @ 10:43 pm
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Hiya.

So.

Here are some pictures of my kiddos from this morning:

I know—it’s crazy how they look absolutely *nothing* alike, right?!  Weird.

Back to school again.  But before this, there was …

The end of school.  Summertime.  Vacation with family.  Vacation with friends.  There was The Ex and The Girlfriend having their baby (and my children gaining a half-sibling).  There was major adjustment, for all of us.  There was Avery’s 10th birthday.  There were girls’ nights out and there were concerts that had me grinning for days.  There was a three-day music festival on the beach.  There was love and romance and trying to figure out the relationship stuff … yet again.   There was my annual sailing trip to Canada, after much (much, much, MUCH) effort and gnashing of teeth and making of arrangements and calling in of favors that surely must have rivaled the planning of a land war in Asia (and as a reward, there were beautiful days and blue skies and calm waters and sweet young boys and Tommy Green, Jr. and time spent with now-dear friends and yes, there was more romance).  There was the arrival of puberty in the house, unexpected and much more of an emotional watershed for me than it was for the amazing kiddo who actually went through it.  There was The Ex in trial out-of-state and my forced need to do some real, true single parenting sans co-parent for awhile (and the resulting realization for both of us, I think, that we need each other to make this thing work).  There was football beginning again and there was back-to-school shopping and there was a new school begun today complete with lockers and bells and complicated schedules and hello-you-are-most-definitely-no-longer-in-elementary-school-anymore-it’s-time-to-grow-up.

There was laughter and there were tears and there was joy and pain and happiness and sorrow.  There was Life.  Constantly and amazingly and incessantly.

I could’ve written about any of it.  I wanted to write about much of it.

I didn’t write about any of it.  (Obviously.)

There are a lot of reasons for that, I suppose—lack of time, a sudden desire for privacy (for me and for my children and for others in my life who deserve it), some strange new-found hesitation to expose my psyche to the ether (perhaps spurred by the realization that there were people … people in my real life … who were reading and who were knowing things that I wasn’t sure I was ok with them knowing).

The purest truth, though, is probably that although I’ve wanted to write, I haven’t needed to write.  The catharsis is somewhat done.  Life is more or less normal—at least, my new version of normal.  Time and change and adaptation and a whole truckload of what-can-you-do?  My kids are growing up in front of my eyes and I swear that most days I can watch myself age in the mirror and in general I think I’m just far less inclined to waste time being angry or wistful or hopeful or overly concerned about anything except this moment right here and now.  And by the time I sit down to write about the singular moment?  It’s gone.

I haven’t written here in four months (almost).  There have been times I’ve thought I was done.  I’ve considered shuttering the blog.  The idea of catching up, of backfilling the diary function, of re-opening wounds that have finally begun to scar … it’s just seemed too daunting.  And I would have, except that I miss it.  The writing and the feedback and the connection and the chronicling of whatever small, specific journey I’m on?  I miss it.

So.  Hiya.

Things are going well here.  Crazy and chaotic.  Joyful and bittersweet.  Complicated yet simple.  The good and the bad and the everything in between—they compile to form my unforeseen life, yet somehow they are just exactly right.  We started school today.  A new year and the next step.  Everyone had a good day.  I hope you did, too.

 

13 Responses to “Hiya.”

  1. dadsquared Says:

    Hot damn! Your badassery knows no bounds. Write the good stuff I need the vicariousity… Vicariousity…sure, why not?

  2. Lady E Says:

    Aw, Meredith, it’s good to hear from you !
    And glad to hear that you are managing to live in the here and now, enjoying yourself and letting the bad stuff wash over you…
    I can recognise much of what you write about blogging, wanting to write, yet suddenly feeling a need for more privacy, and being done with catharsis. I have been silent for a while for the very same reasons you expres better than I ever could. Happy getting back to school to the four of you !
    xx

  3. Janeen Says:

    You’ve come so far since your life was turned upside . I loved reading this. Such a good reminder that today isn’t forever and that time (+ a lot of soul-searching, heartache and hard work) really does heal even the most difficult wounds. You faced your fears and came out absolutely glowing on the other side. You go girl!!

  4. Dorian Says:

    Oh how I’ve missed you!! Thankful the kids had a good first day back and so very excited you’re writing again. Each and every time – happy blog or sad blog – your words somehow make me smile and brighten my day. Thank you for sharing.

  5. brynna Says:

    Meredith: I’m glad to see you back….really & truly, it wasn’t a week ago that I thought “what happened…?” since I had not seen a blog… and I love reading them from you…ah! such is Life!
    Godo to see you’re out there moving and shaking! :)

  6. Jennifer Says:

    I’ve missed your blog…it’s my very favorite reading…but I totally get you. As our kids are growing in warp speed, it’s right.this.minute and if we write about what just happened we might miss what is happening. as always, you hit the nail on the head and articulate what is fuzzy in my own mind. I get you, girl, There is a great buzz when the whole house had a great first day. Cheers to yours yesteraday. Judging by Milla’s flair pose she was ready for a good one! Lots of love.

  7. Liv Says:

    I’ve missed your blog so much; just last week I thought, ‘whatever happened to Now is Good???” It’s so nice to hear from you again and to know that things are going well. Your kids are gorgeous, and while I understand that you don’t NEED to write anymore, I hope you realize that your readers need (or at least want) to hear from you. Cheers,

    Liv

  8. Linda Says:

    Finally!! Welcome Back….have been missing this! Must say that those are the most adorable kids you have there!

  9. Glad you’re back! Re “it’s crazy how they look absolutely *nothing* alike” … umm … they all look EXACTLY like you!

  10. theresa Says:

    So thrilled to see you back on your blog! Your kiddos look happy and beautiful, as are you! Love you and miss you, Meredith.

  11. Kathie Says:

    Blogging by bullet list – awesome! And I feel totally caught up. And I love the comment about not missing that singular moment. That’s what can happen when you are viewing everything through an LED screen filter – Instagramming, Facebooking, and blogging (not being a blogger myself, but I would presume). So, hiya yourself. Not sure I’ve commented on your blog before but I followed your journey, always wishing our experiences had coincided in time. I think I would have handled mine better if I had the benefit of your insight as you slogged…and blogged…your way through. Thanks for sharing.

  12. abby Says:

    Along with everyone else, I missed you and your writing, but I am so glad to hear that at least part of the reason you haven’t posted it because you are so busy living your life, I’m goint to keep checking in, because I need to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I’ll be more happy than sad if there aren’t new posts, because I’ll know what it means

  13. I just discovered that you’re back! LOVE the cowboy boots and Avery’s teeth are beautiful! They’re all growing up… a lot. Good to hear from you again :)


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